


Good Enough

by espiritus



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: F/M, Feels, Fluff, Idiots in Love, a rare instance of Von not being an emotionally-stunted jerk, slightly angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-04 10:58:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13363233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/espiritus/pseuds/espiritus
Summary: Because these two are just so gosh-darned cute when my inner onion-chopping asshole isn't breaking them up.





	Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Not gonna lie: I think these two are super-incompatible. I love Mac to bits, but I think he'd be way too intense for an introvert like Von (she'd be way better off with Deacon, IMO). But, every time I break them up, I feel super guilty and write fluffy crap like this.

It's a typical night in Goodneighbor. The sky is starless, black as a grave, and only the streetlights' glow shines through the windows of Von's room at the Hotel Rexford. It's been four days since she left Med-Tek, even longer since she's eaten a decent meal or slept with both eyes closed, and she's covered in blood from the neck down. Before the war, she'd never have allowed herself to go this long without showering, but it's just par for the course these days.

She pays Clair a few extra caps for hot water, then heads up the stairs with the bucket in her hand. Once the tub is full, she peels off her vault suit and climbs in, head tilted back as the water wraps her in its warmth like a fur coat on on the coldest winter day. Of course, she doesn't hear MacCready stumble in, half-drunk and still riding the high from their earlier success at Med-Tek. At first, he doesn't see her either, though he does notice when she emerges from the safety of her watery cocoon.

Their eyes meet and, though her hair conceals most of her upper body, she moves to cover herself anyway. She feels too exposed, too vulnerable, with all of her weakest moments on display. He senses her apprehension and tries not to look, but he can't stop staring because she's beautiful, scars and all.

"Sh- I mean, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay. I was just about done anyway."

She reaches for a towel and, as she does, he catches sight of the crescent-shaped scar on her belly. It's light pink, like a newborn baby or the sunrise. And, before he can stop himself, he reaches out to touch it; she recoils slightly and tries to push his hand away, but he catches her arm in midair and holds onto it as he runs his fingers over the raised tissue.

"Does it hurt?"

Von shakes her head _no_ , still shivering as she tries to keep from crying. She doesn't like being touched, or reminded that her only child was ripped from her, in more ways than one. But his touch isn't cold or clinical, like a doctor's, or that of a stranger, seeking only to mock her at her weakest; instead, it's full of love, and that's somehow more frightening than the alternative.

"No," she whimpers, almost pleadingly. "Please, don't."

Mac looks up, an almost-wounded expression on his face. "What are you so afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid. I'm just..."

While it's true that part of her _is_ afraid, there are so many other words- empty, broken, lost- that would fit just as well. If only moving forward was as simple as flipping a switch, or turning a page, she'd have done it by now. 

"Look at me," he says, tilting her chin upward to ensure that she does just that. "I don't care about those. I have them too. The ferals that killed Lucy... One tried to grab Duncan out of my hands, and I ripped its head off. But not before..."

He lifts his shirt to show her the scar. It's long and jagged, stopping in the middle of his chest; to Von, it looks as though he's had his heart cut out. And, in a way, that's exactly what happened. 

"Shit," she sighs, almost mournfully. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he replies, though he's not sure which of them he's trying to convince. "It doesn't hurt now, same as yours. That it's there just means that we're stronger than whatever tried to hurt us."

A sad smile flickers over her face. "Stronger than the end of the world, huh?" she says, with a weak laugh. "I guess that's why I'm still here, and everyone I loved is dead."

Her words are sharp, a knife twisted in his chest. It's been nearly six months since their awkward first kiss, and she still hasn't said that she loves him. Indeed, Nate's death is quite fresh in her memory, but that knowledge does little to dull the pain. They're more than friends, but not quite lovers, and he wonders if she'll ever take that step. Maybe she never will, and waiting for her to catch up is a waste of time.

"Everyone?"

Von doesn't respond right away, and he takes her silence for contrition. She's slick and silver-tongued, when it comes to haggling or squeezing people for caps; but, where feelings are concerned, he'll probably have to coax them out of her. _You can lead a brahmin to water, RJ,_ Lucy used to say. _But you can't make her drink it._

The water in the tub is now a deep red. and Mac retreats to the hallway while Von finishes dressing. When she emerges, she's wearing a lounging outfit she found under the bed; it's a couple sizes too big and hides her shape, but it's the first time he's seen her in something other than her vault suit. Perhaps, in her own strange way, it means that she does care- that she feels safe enough in his presence to shed the protective mask she wears, in order to face the world.

She sits down on the edge of the bed and switches off the light before curling up into a tight little ball, folding into herself, as she usually does. He throws his jacket over the back of a chair and joins her, pressing his body to hers as he wraps his arm around her waist and slips one hand underneath her shirt. Her breath hitches in her chest as his fingers trail over the scar on her belly, but she doesn't pull away.

"I got that when my son was born, you know."

Outside of a professional capacity, it's not often that Von speaks without first being spoken to, and it's particularly unlike her to open up about something so personal. Mac says nothing, equal parts surprised and confused, and instead just listens.

"He was so big that he got stuck, and the doctors had to cut him out. The drugs didn't work and I was in so much pain that I thought I was going to die; when it was over, they stitched me up and put Shaun in my arms. I still remember what it was like, looking into my baby's eyes and knowing that this little person was of my flesh and blood... It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before. "

She goes quiet for a moment, and Mac gulps back the sob that's been building in his throat. He remembers Duncan's birth in the same amount of detail- Lucy's face, drenched in sweat; the blood-soaked sheets, and the squalling, red-faced baby that the doctor handed him because Lucy was too weak to even sit upright... They'd been just children themselves back then, blissfully blind to the world and its cruelties. How could either of them have known the price they'd pay for taking shelter in that metro station?

She rolls over and snuggles closer, her head against his chest a welcome distraction from his own thoughts. "I do understand," she says absentmindedly. "You may have lost Lucy, but you saved your son. That counts for something."

"Maybe. I don't know anymore. But I hope we can save yours too."

He holds her tighter, trying to focus on the soft warmth of her skin under that outfit. If only grief was something tangible, like a bullet, he could cut it out and stitch her back up; no one would ever know that it had even been there, a pink scar the only proof of its existence. But the real world doesn't work that way. 

"Damn, I miss Lucy."

"I know," Von answers back. "I miss Nate too. He was here one minute and, the next, just... gone, as though he never existed. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm the crazy one- if the bombs never fell and this is all just a bad dream. But it would be way worse, if I didn't have you."

There it is. Mac smiles to himself as he strokes her hair, plants a soft kiss on her forehead as the two of them drift off to sleep, entwined. Even if she won't come out and say it, this is good enough for now.

**Author's Note:**

> Playlist:
> 
> Art of Dying & Adam Gontier, _Raining_  
>  Dama, _Regina D'Inverno/Your Winter_  
>  Erutan, _No One But You_  
>  Evanescence, _Give Unto Me_  
>  Hydria, _All Yours_  
>  Josh Groban, _Let Me Fall_  
>  Shadowplay, _Once_  
>  Stream of Passion, _For You_


End file.
